My Highlight With Henley

During my five months of knowing an extraordinary 15-year-old young woman, Henley, a high school student shelver at the Hannibal Public Library, this was the highlight of my time with Henley:

In early 2016, while I was standing in front of the front desk, Henley and a librarian one year younger than I, Cindy, 60, were behind the front desk at the end of the day, and Henley, petite and only 5' 1", was sitting on a bar stool behind the front desk with Cindy and Cindy and I were telling Henley about how Cindy was constantly frustrated in the early years of our friendship at my being able to get "zingers" on Cindy and Cindy could never get one on me. Until the day came when Cindy did. I told Henley (with Cindy listening and enjoying hearing me recount this story yet again) about the day in the library when I was sitting at a library Internet computer in 2006 and seeing the news come across on my computer that Brittney Spears was divorcing her husband, Kevin Federline, and I turned around in my chair and I asked Cindy if she had heard this news and Cindy told me that she had seen it about an hour earlier. And then Cindy walked over to stand by me and we both were looking at this article about Brittney Spears on my computer. (I then explained to Henley that to understand the rest of this story that she needed to know that I had been approved for a disability retirement in 1990 from my engineering career due to major stresses in my life and that is why I've been able to spend so much time at the library for the past 20 years or so.)  I then told Henley that as Cindy and I were looking at this article about 24-year-old Brittney Spears, I looked up at Cindy and I asked her, a bit reluctantly, "Do you think that........I'd have a chance with her (Brittney)?"

Cindy thought for a moment and told me, "Well, let's see. Her husband doesn't work. And you don't either. So I guess you do."

I re-enacted for Henley of how I clutched my chest at that moment and I feigned being greatly pained and hurt by Cindy's zinger. Cindy told Henley that she's still very proud of herself of that moment.

I then asked Cindy, "Should I tell Henley what makes you mad at me?"

Cindy angrily replied, "I know what it is!!!" and Cindy marched off to be in a different part of the library.

With Henley and me at the front desk by ourselves, I told Henley, "I don't remember what Cindy said or did, but whatever it was, I told her, 'You remind me of my ex-wife.'"

I continued to tell Henley, "Oh, that made Cindy mad! That made Cindy SO MAD!!!"

I then told Henley, "Another thing that I tell women when they say something negatively towards me, I'll tell her,..........(I then paused and I turned away from Henley for a few seconds and then I turned back and I looked into Henley's eyes and I continued).......'If I wanted to be treated like that, I would have stayed married.'"

As Henley and I looked at each other at close range, my serious face slowly changed to having a small smile on my face and then Henley finally reacted with what seemed to be a brief laugh of amazement.

Cindy then returned to join Henley and me at the front desk and I asked Cindy, "Do you know what I just told Henley?"

Cindy very angrily replied, "Yes!! That I remind you of your ex-wife!!!!!!"

And then after Cindy left to go to some other part of the library yet again, Henley, sitting so pretty on her bar stool, pointed her right index finger and right forearm to her left, and she told me, "Or, she is the good one.........," and then Henley flipped her right forearm and her pointed right index finger to her right and Henley continued, "and the other one isn't."

I then looked downward towards the floor trying to figure out exactly what Henley had just said and I realized that my ex-wife must be "the good one" and, therefore, "the other one" who "isn't" must be me!!  I then exclaimed, "WHOA!!!  That was so subtle, I almost missed it! I had no idea that I'd be slammed by Henley today!!!!"

Henley shot back, "I didn't slam you!!!"

I quickly retorted back, "Oh, yes, you did!!!"

Henley and I then laughed so hard with each other, and Henley leaned so far back as she was sitting on her bar stool that her upper body was almost parallel with the floor as she laughed.  And while it was obvious that Henley was laughing very hard, her laughter was so soft that it was the most quiet laugh that I had ever heard in my life from any person.

In hindsight, it was inevitable that Henley and I would go our separate ways, not on the easiest or best of terms, as it would turn out, but I will always cherish my special experiences with one very special young lady, Henley.

Holly Puts Me In My Place

One story that I have enjoyed telling others involves my daughter, Holly, when she was age 14 in 2000. At that time, my son, Johnathan, was in Navy school just after he finished Boot Camp in Great Lakes, Ill. I had not attended church during the previous 7 years and, as far as I knew, neither had my ex-wife, Holly's mother. As I was driving down Palmyra Road here in Hannibal in early February, 2000, with little Holly riding in the front seat on the passenger side, I told Holly that with Johnathan coming back home to Hannibal over President's Day weekend, I wanted to take both of them out to eat one night while he was here and I asked Holly to choose the date. Holly told me that February 22nd would be good, but she couldn't stay too long because she had a "church thing" to go to for young people that same evening.

I asked her, "What are you going to a church thing for?"

Holly replied, "I've been going to church."

I continued, "Who's been taking you?"

Holly replied, "Mom."

I asked, "How long's this been going on?"

Holly replied, "About two months."

As we drove down this street, I reflected on this new news for me and I told Holly, "Well, I think that it's good that your mother is going back to church so she can get right with God."

Holly, in a slightly disgusted tone of voice, told me, "You're a fine one to talk."

I turned towards Holly and I exclaimed, "DO YOU REALIZE....WHO....YOU'RE....TALKING TO?!!"

Still looking forward, Holly coolly replied, "A loser."

I laughed so hard.....and Holly knows she can get away with talking to me like that as she knows that it will make me laugh. I once asked Holly, "Do you ever talk to your mother like that?"

Holly quickly told me, "Oh, no, Mom would kill me."

My Deputy Sheriff Friend, Larry

It is with great sadness that I learned of the passing of a Hannibal man, Larry Gibson, who was a deputy sheriff who I met very soon after I moved to Hannibal in 1991. Larry had a very good sense of humor and one day, as I was talking to a female clerk standing just outside of the Sheriff's Office in the Hannibal Courthouse, we could hear Larry tell others in the Sheriff's Office a very funny story causing them to laugh. I told this woman, "Isn't it something the way that a man of the law tells jokes the way Larry does? Of course, if I packed a gun, I would tell jokes whenever I wanted to.......and people would laugh at my jokes!!!" causing Larry and those with him to burst out laughing very hard. And I decided to exit the courthouse at that moment on the philosophy of "leave them laughing."

Many people will miss Larry greatly.

(Some) Baptists Cannot Laugh at Themselves

The following is a good example of what I mean about Baptists having trouble laughing at themselves, at least some of them:

Back around 1993, I shared this true experience with a woman who I went to college with in 1972-1974 by the name of Kim. I told her of how my boss, Mike, who was a very staunch Baptist, a co-worker, Jim, and I (all of us engineers) were driving out to a work site with Jim driving and we were discussing religion, as we often did.

Jim turns towards me and says, "You're Catholic, aren't you, Greg?"

And I replied, "Yes."  Jim then asked me, "What are your parents?"

I replied, "They're Catholic."

Jim then asked Mike, "You're Baptist, aren't you, Mike?"

And Mike replied, "Yes."

Jim then asked Mike, "What are your parents?"

Mike answered, "They're Baptist."

Jim then exclaimed in a very histrionic voice, "Well, how do you like that?! I'm Methodist and my parents are Methodist!!!!" and I laughed very hard at Jim's shrewd point.

Kim replied, "The Baptist didn't laugh, did he?"

I exclaimed, "No, he didn't! No, he didn't!"

Another Fun Evening at the Grocery Store

Last evening, I went by County Market to take advantage of a few specials and I went through the line of a female checker who is about age 20 and I asked her, "How long have you been working here?"

And she replied, "Since April."

Then another young woman, also about 20, who bags groceries was standing in front of my cart and she took my dinner rolls out of my cart for me and placed them on the conveyer belt. I told her, "Oh, that was very kind of you. Are you naturally kind or were just kind for me this one time?"

She replied, "Oh, I always try to be kind."

The checker retorted, "Oh, no she isn't."

And the two of them playfully bickered back and forth with each other to my great amusement. I then asked them, "How long have you two loved each other?"

The checker replied, "Since April."

A Thread on a Christian Internet Discussion Board

 On June 10, 2015, this question was posted on a Christian Internet discussion board:

                    If you died, why should God let you into heaven?

       ***********************************************************


And on that date, a member's who's moniker is "doorknocker"  replied:


If God asked me,   why should I let you into heaven?

My answer would be,

Father you have no choice, because.....

You came to me and quickened my heart to seek you.

With the last trumpet call for my life, You declared my transgressions against YOU.

It is YOU that granted me repentance.

It is YOU that raised me from the dead, to be born again of imperishable seed, through Your living and
abiding Word, through Christ.

It is You that shed Your Love upon me and caused me to know You.

It is You that chose to reveal Your Son (Christ) in me.

It is You that caused me to walk in righteousness before You, through your Son.

It is You that set me free from the demonic powers in my life, it is You that set me free from being of
the world.

It is You that raised me up to heavenly places to be with You.

It is You that said that You would never leave me or forsake You,

so my Lord You have no choice, because You cannot break Your promise, as You are the Almighty and
have purchased and redeemed me with Your blood, I am Yours.


     ************************************************************************

And this was my response later that day:


I do not think that God would ever ask a person that question. Heaven is His domain and He either allows you in or He doesn't. He already knows your life's experiences and the choices that you've made. I found this to be a very odd question.

Also, I found one person's response beginning with the words, "Father you have no choice, because....."  to be a response that would be the very last possible response in my mind. To tell the Creator of the Universe and the entire human race, "Father you have no choice, because....."? 

I'd be ready to quickly dodge lightning bolts after saying something like that to my Creator.

But that's just me.  I guess it's just natural for Catholics to have a little humility instilled within them.

A *Moment* That I Shared With My Special Phlebotomist

On February 9, 2015, I went in to the cancer center to give a sample of my blood one week before I saw my cancer doctor concerning my Stage 1 leukemia (CLL). My favorite phlebotomist, Tonia (who I ended my 2012 Christmas Letter with a very notable story about), took my blood this day and as I settled into my chair, I told her how I very much enjoyed running into her at Walmart a couple of months earlier and had a nice long visit with her. I then told Tonia, "I hope that you don't mind me saying this, but, and I know that you're always attractive, but that night at Walmart, you were particularly beautiful. I don't know if you remember how you had your eyes done that night, but your eyes were really deep!" And as I finished my sentence, my eyes gazed intently into Tonia's eyes (with Tonia looking down, hovering just over me) and we looked very intently into each other's eyes for several long seconds. After I looked away from Tonia's beautiful eyes, she told me rather sheepishly, "Oh, you're embarrassing me."

I also told her that it was very nice of her to initiate giving me a hug when we said our 'Goodbyes' at Walmart and that that was the most special hug (outside of my family, as I would later defensively explain to my daughter, Holly) that I had received in many years. I told Tonia, "You know, though, there was one 'downside' to that hug you gave me." Tonia laughed and replied, "Oh, what's that? Because I had to leave?"  I told her, "Yes, I had to let you go. You're right on it."